The Rollercoaster That Is Grief

Having recently, and somewhat unexpectedly, lost someone close and special to me, has made me think deeply about the process of grief and how much of a rollercoaster it can be.

I’m no stranger to grief. I’ve lost friends and family at various stages of life—young and old, those who were expected to go and those who left us too soon. I’ve faced grief from illnesses that were terminal and from sudden, tragic losses. From blood clots to car accidents, cancer and heart disease to suicide, I’ve seen grief from all angles and in many different circumstances.

I’ve been to funerals of Christians, Humanists, Buddhists, and non-believers, attended cremations and burials, and even followed my friend’s funeral procession along the motorway as a passenger in a police car escort (a most bizarre funeral I shall never forget).

I’ve been to more funerals than weddings, and I’m only 39. I’ve been through grief multiple times throughout my life. Even with this experience, grief never ceases to surprise me with its unpredictability.

I can feel okay for a while, and then, out of nowhere, the reality of the loss hits me like a ton of bricks. I might find myself sobbing in the street, far from home, and needing to call my husband to pick me up.

When it hits, grief can feel all-consuming and lonely. So what are the solutions and how can you ride out grief and deal with what it brings?

Seeking Support With Grief When You Feel Alone

Having a support system of friends and family who listen without judgment can be incredibly valuable. But if you’re feeling alone—whether because you don’t have many people close to talk to or just one person—it can make the grieving process even harder.

In these situations, you may wish to look for other forms of support. Connecting with support groups, whether online or in person, can provide a sense of community and understanding. Many organisations offer spaces where you can share your feelings and find comfort from others who truly get what you’re going through.

Counselling or therapy can also be helpful for some people. Professionals can offer guidance on processing grief and coping with loneliness. Sometimes, talking to a neutral party can give you new perspectives and help you work through your emotions.

Finding activities that bring you solace can also make a difference. Whether it’s joining a local group, picking up a new hobby, or volunteering, these activities can offer distraction and connection.

Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s okay to ask for help and seek connections that provide comfort. Grief is a deeply personal experience, but you don’t have to go through it alone.

Dealing With Grief By Yourself

Alternatively, you might feel like grief is a journey you need to navigate on your own, and that’s okay too, as long as you’re confident in your resilience and don’t lose yourself in the process. Support groups and talking therapy isn’t for everyone, and it’s perfectly valid to handle your grief in a way that feels right for you.

Allow yourself to experience whatever emotions come your way as you grieve. There’s no set timeline for when you should feel like yourself again. Grief can be a long process, taking weeks, months, or even longer. Be patient with yourself and accept that it’s natural to feel a wide range of emotions.

The key is to be patient with yourself and understand that, in time, you will begin to feel like yourself again. There’s no rush to move on or “get over it.” Give yourself the time and space to heal at your own pace.

Trust that eventually, the pain of grief will ease. You’ll find moments of happiness and contentment, and the intensity of your grief will gradually lessen.

For now, embrace the journey, knowing that it’s a natural part of processing loss and that, eventually, you will move through it and emerge on the other side.