The Disadvantages of Talk Therapy: How Counselling Can Take Over Your Life

Talking therapy, or counselling, is often hailed as an essential tool for self-awareness, healing, and emotional growth. Having experienced multiple sessions over several months, I can confidently say that while it can be beneficial, there are certain disadvantages to be aware of, particularly when dealing with raw, unresolved trauma and complex family dynamics.

When I first started therapy, I had no idea just how much it would begin to take over my life. While the sessions were meant to be 50 minutes long, I soon realised that the impact stretched far beyond that. In the end, I had to make a difficult decision: to step away from therapy in order to move forward with my life, free from constant rumination over past and current events.

While therapy can be beneficial, it’s important to understand its potential drawbacks, especially when dealing with complex emotional issues and undertaking therapy while having other commitments and responsibilities such as work and children. Below, I will explore my experience and thoughts in more detail.

Talking Therapy Takes Over More of Your Time Than You Might Expect

The most surprising aspect of therapy was how much space it began to occupy in my mind. It wasn’t just the hour spent in the therapist’s office—my thoughts would begin to swirl the day before a session. I’d find myself revisiting the previous session and worrying about what might come up in the next.

Because my therapy was patient-led, I had to decide which issues to discuss, which often consumed my thoughts beforehand, even if I tried not to focus on them. Alternatively, I had to see what would come up naturally during the session, but often I found it difficult to turn my mind off before the session.

This often meant revisiting unresolved trauma, painful memories, and ongoing family dramas. Even when I wasn’t consciously trying to think about these things, memories and thoughts would constantly surface—an expected effect of counselling as those emotions were being uncovered.

It didn’t stop there. After the session, I couldn’t simply switch off. The rest of the day was spent reflecting on what had been said, processing emotions, and trying to make sense of everything. I would write down my thoughts and viewpoints, either to discuss in the next session or to help clarify things for myself. This often left me unable to focus on work or other responsibilities. In effect, a single 50-minute session would consume an entire day.

The Lingering Effects of Counselling Sessions

Even after the immediate aftermath of the session passed, I found that the effects lingered. For days afterwards, I would be consumed by thoughts and memories, trying to untangle the complex emotions and sometimes memories that had surfaced. I often made notes to bring to the next session, jotting down thoughts or realisations that came to me in quiet moments. Before I knew it, nearly half of my week was being spent either preparing for, participating in, or processing therapy.

When Does Talk Therapy End?

I had spent months not only revisiting old wounds and past events but also grappling with ongoing family dynamics and dramas. Much of my time in therapy was spent trying to find a way forward—seeking solutions for how to proceed amidst complex emotional entanglements.

In many ways, I felt I was learning how to emotionally mature for the first time as an adult. Therapy helped me realise that my own mindset wasn’t wrong, selfish, or cruel, as I had sometimes feared. It was an essential step in understanding that it’s okay to prioritise my own well-being while navigating difficult relationships.

While this process was undoubtedly important, it also kept me stuck in a cycle of rumination. I believe therapy played a crucial role in helping me address my issues. However, there came a point where I had to acknowledge that it was time to stop therapy.

Ultimately, therapy helped me recognise when enough was enough. It wasn’t about endlessly dissecting every emotional nuance but about reaching a point where I felt ready to move on and no longer wished to revisit the same topics, with the therapist or at that time at least.

There seems to be a strong focus on the need to heal and resolve unresolved trauma, but sometimes we can get stuck in a cycle of constantly rehashing dramas and traumas, making them the focal point of our lives for longer than necessary. For some of us, moving past these issues and focusing on a brighter future can be more beneficial than continuing to dwell on the past.

With ongoing family dynamics and issues, finding a way forward and making a decision to seek contentment is crucial. While talking therapy may help uncover these insights, it’s also important to recognise when it’s no longer serving its purpose and might even be having a negative effect.

Personally, once I realised the impact continued therapy was having on my well-being and life, and made the decision to stop, I found a sense of peace and freedom that I hadn’t experienced in months.

The Importance of Awareness: Balancing the Benefits and Challenges of Therapy

Talking therapy isn’t for everyone, and its effects can vary widely. Some people may thrive on the deep emotional work it involves, while others might find it overwhelming over extended periods, even experiencing it as a life takeover.

However, talking therapy can offer significant benefits. It provides a safe space for individuals to explore their thoughts and emotions, gain valuable insights into their behaviour and relationships, and develop coping strategies for managing life’s challenges. It is also an effective tool for discussing trauma, making sense of difficult experiences, and releasing pent-up emotions.

For many, therapy offers a sense of validation and support, helping them feel heard and understood by an unbiased professional. In addition to improving self-awareness, therapy can facilitate personal growth, promote emotional resilience, and aid in developing healthier ways to handle stress and conflict.

While therapy can initially be helpful for validation, self-awareness, and addressing trauma, it’s important to recognise when it has run its course. Knowing when to step back is crucial for maintaining balance and ensuring that therapy remains a beneficial tool rather than becoming an all-consuming part of your life.

The key message is to understand that therapy doesn’t just take place during the sessions; its impact extends into your daily life and mind, which can become all-consuming. Being aware of this beforehand is crucial for making an informed decision about whether therapy is the right path for you.

Therapy is a tool, but eventually, you may need to step away to calm your mind and find your own peace.