Loving someone is never without some kind of condition.
We throw around the term ‘unconditional love’ but in reality, there’s no such thing.
We believe that our love is worth something, which is why we tend not to give it away so easily.
So what happens when your relationship is falling apart, but you are still in close proximity together?
This raises many problems. Because you’re still in the same environment that you had many good memories together, it can feel like you’re obliged to just carry on.
Sleeping in the same bed, using the same bathroom, and having breakfast on the same table. All of this has to change if you want your love to mean anything again.
When it’s time for some space apart, don’t deny it
So why distance?
When you are far from each other, you will have time to do two things:
- You will be able to live a life without them in your proximity, so you get to see what life will be like without them.
- You will also have time alone to think about what you want to do.
Whether you have been in a long-term relationship or if you’re married, you need to appreciate this distance between you.
Time to think is one thing, but actually living in an environment where you can think and not have to worry about confronting them again and again, is another.
Time alone means time to clear your mind and imagine life in a different way.
In different rooms
Sleeping in different rooms is a good idea.
It eases the tension but doesn’t elevate it as leaving the house would do.
You should, however, move your clothes and other items into the other room too. Getting dressed in the same space, putting on your makeup and drying your hair, shouldn’t be normalised in the room you used to share.
So, being in different rooms will change the social dynamic from couple to roommates. It gives you space apart but you’re not on the brink of your relationship breaking down.
Staying at your friend’s house or your parent’s house for one week could bring things into perspective.
Many couples just needed that dose of reality to realise, they shouldn’t be fighting.
Life outside can be cold and tough, so one week apart is going to be a well-needed shock to your systems.
Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out.
You can’t help it, you’re just incompatible.
Then marriages need to come to a close and as quickly as possible!
The reason for this is, prolonged divorces just end up causing more pain and more financial strain. Speak with good divorce solicitors and they’ll tell you the same.
Once you have made your mind up, it’s time to act. The issue is, you need to be honest from the outset with your solicitor. So have all your ducks in line before taking the plunge.
If you can give each other space, then never deny the opportunity to do so. It’s critical that you understand how important space and time to heal is. Otherwise, you are looking at the end of the marital or relationship road.